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  • sthlm,london,moscow,los angeles

    12 februari 2005

    so it happened again. my heart. this was actually the first time i got really mad that it happened. before i have just shaked my head and thought, ’oh, well’, but this time i didn’t like it. it was 2.22am in the night and i had just gone to bed. i was laying there listening to my heart (i don’t know if it’s becaue i am so skinny but i can almost always feel my heart beat) and all was fine until suddenly, ’bumpa dumpa domp’, my heart did a drum solo and wouldn’t go back to normal.

    fuck, fuck, fuck, i thought and tried to think of something to do to stop it go so irregular. i tried hitting my self in the chest a few times, i hold my breath, i even did jumping somersault into my bed but nothing helped (as usual), so instead i tried to sleep and hope it was all gone when i woke up.

    but it wasn’t, so i woke up at the same time as molly and asked her if she could drive me to the hospital and she did. thank you.

    some might think that the healthcare system in sweden is a lot of bureaucracy and shit, but man, i have never signed so many papers in my life as i did at the hospital. when i was handing in my wallet and camera to their safe, i had to count every coin and note in the wallet and write it down etc. and then hundreds of papers to fill out. note: it was not because i was foreign, it was like that for everyone.

    the first hours i stayed in the emergency department. not so exciting. actually i don’t remember much from that because i slept most of the time. eventually they took me up to the 3rd floor and i got an private room with my own toilet/shower, TV with 75 channels and a bed that had buttons (homer: bed goes up! bed goes down! bed goes up! …). the place was treating me good.

    molly came by with my computer together with a whole bag full of candy and other stuff. thank you (again!).

    but after 12pm (midnight) i wasn’t allowed to eat or drink anything because i probably was going to recieve a electrical convertion. but the doctor (dr baron) decided to give me 4 pills of some medication that might would put my heart back to normal again. i took it just before i went to sleep. and yao, during the morning (today) i noticed the heart stopped beating irregular!

    also, it was nice talking to dr baron because he told me some about the possibilites of curing my heart problem. he said SF has one of the best hostpitals when it comes to solving my problem so he suggested i should see how if my insurance would cover it and then maybe do some surgery up in SF. we’ll see.

    when i was going to leave i had to pay a deposit of 2800 dollarz because they couldn’t get hold of my insurance company. when/if they do, i will get the money back. i hope soon because barclays in london will probably be a bit suspicious because i have never used the card and suddenly almost the whole credit dissappears in one go.

    anyway, molly came and picked me up and now i am back home.

    i never watched blue velvet at the hospital. instead me and my powerbook killed the time thrasing a couple of monsters in ZELDA on my game boy advance emulator. haii!!

    tonight is hello fever and hidden cameras show. yay!

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